I grew tired. Tired of Instagram, tired of social media in general, tired of our society, tired of myself and what I do. I subtracted myself from the online world for a while because I just couldn’t keep up with the algorithm and posting and producing work while at the same time needing to graduate and pass my driver’s test and sell my old apartment, and find a new one while traveling for work to the other side of the world. I felt pressured. Not because of my obligations, but because the society tells us we need to balance all the balls in our court at the same time while staying healthy, fit, in a happy relationship, rich and positive. Husstle, husstle, husstle. It’s all about the husstle. I took a step back and for two months I had time for myself to finish some of the things I listed above. Being off social media did me good, more good than I could ever imagine, because for the first time in my life I feel like I’m on the right path. I was never a person who compared to someone else, neither was I someone who suffered from the lack of likes on my photos caused by the new algorithms, but before I took a break, I started to become that person. And I started to hate who I’m becoming because that person wasn’t me.
I’m guilty for allowing myself to fall into the rabbit hole. But when I think about the fact that more and more people are taking their time off from social media, and the fact that developers of social media don’t have accounts of their own, I think it’s fair to say that they know exactly what the apps are doing to us mentally and emotionally and use it as a means to control the general public. And yes I know I sound like a conspiracy theorist and that I went on a tangent, but since I’ve been off, everything started to look different to me. I couldn’t believe some of the ”see through” tricks famous people use to get likes and views, people who I once admired. I started, for the first time in my life I believe, to see through the bullshit. For the first time in my life I had the chance to take a step back and ask myself, ”What is it that I really want?” and the answer was far off ”beeing Instagram famous”. And don’t get me wrong, there are people who love doing that and there’s nothing wrong with wanting it, as long as it’s something you REALLY want, and not something you want just because everybody else is doing it. I really thought I wanted to be ”Instagram famous” because I believed that will give me more opportunities to work, travel and do the thing I love most which is creating photos and videos. I saw it as the only way through which I can achieve my goals. Taking a step back made me realize that I was completely wrong, which is okay, as long as it came a point in which I did realize and redirected myself. We all have different aspirations. That’s the thing that makes us different and unique. All of us want something different from life and that’s why I believe that there’s more than plenty for everyone in this Universe, more than we can ever imagine, and whichever path we take is the right one. There are no wrong turns and mistakes. Everything we do leads us towards our destiny, but destiny is not something written in the stars. It’s something we have to write for ourselves. We are the ones responsible for our lives and we have to ask ourselves honestly about what we wanna do and where we wanna be in the next 5, 10, 50 years. If the answer is on Instagram with one million followers, that’s amazing, as long as it comes from the soul and not from the society’s norms about how to live your life.
Through the search for my own meaning of life, I started to create a vision for myself that’s far off what it was two months ago, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the chance to reflect and redirect myself. I found peace and happiness in simplicity again. In the little things. And in creating what I trully love, when I want and how I want. The pressure dropped. I suddenly started to feel light again. Like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders and I can breathe again. But that’s only me. I don’t wanna write about what resonates to the most people only for the sympathy itself, for the ”I feel you” itself. I’m writing honestly as I always did. If this does resonate with you on the soul level, ask yourself the thing I asked myself; ”What is it that I really want?”. If it doesn’t, great! You’re good!
Remember to always stay true to you.